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| Facing our dark side |
The shadow self are the parts of our own nature that we wish to avoid looking at and hence that which we wish to avoid relating our self image with.
It refers to the neglected parts of ourselves that we would have pushed away into our subconscious because we intentionally or unintentionally avoid dealing with it, at the moment when it begged to be dealt with, out of the pressure of our own beliefs of who we should or should not be.
It can include everything outside the light of our consciousness and may be positive or negative.
Now, I believe we are energy itself.
When a part of our energy begs for our attention because it feels hurt or at a lower vibration, it is up to us, whether we decide to deal with that part of ourselves or not.
Of course,
1. the surrounding environment,
2. our subconscious programming,
3. our mindset,
4. the way we were parented and
5. the situation that we are in,
are all contributing factors when it comes to how we deal with those parts of ourselves and our energy, that wish to feel acknowledged, validated or understood.
And sometimes, we tend to push those energies to the back of our minds or avoid confronting them due to any combination of the above factors.
A good example is: I feel jealous towards my friend who won a contest (that I also participated in and didn't win) and I try to avoid that bitter feeling by saying:
1. I should not feel jealous (this makes me the bad guy) and
2.They are my friend and I should support them (this makes me the good guy).
Feelings are basically energy in motion (e-motion).
Remember how I told you that we are energy itself?
Well, it is energy's nature to continue to vibrate at whatever frequency it is and it is also energy's nature to expand.
This means that ignoring or pushing away our own energy (which is already at a lower vibration and hence wants our attention to help bring back its stability), only helps to shift the polarity of that energy to negative.
So now, we would have a negative energy, pushed to the shadows and dark areas of our mind, which feeds on the darkness and hence becomes a huge entity, all without our knowledge; we would have no idea that this was happening in our subconscious mind.
And there will be times,
when we encounter a situation similar to the one in the past which had caused a part of our energy to shift to a lower vibration
or
when we encounter other people experiencing the same situation and coming towards us with parts of their energy at low vibration, asking for our help to make themselves feel better.
At this point, because energy leaves imprints, we will have the primary impulse to react in the exact same way we reacted to our own energy (in the past).
And this impulse will be further propelled by that massive mass of mutated negative energy in the background that will literally push us to do the same thing that made us feel low, to the other person or to the situation.
Why? Because energy loves company. It doesn't matter at what vibration we are, it will bring us the greatest joy to make everyone else feel the same vibration.
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A good example is:
I feel jealous towards my friend who won a contest I also participated in and I try to avoid that bitter feeling by thinking that I should not feel jealous because they are my friend and I should support them. (1)
<<<<<<<A Few Days Later<<<<<<<<
My friend: Did you hear that our classmate just won the Best Student of The Year award? Man I feel so jealous!
(in their mind: 'Please tell me its okay to feel jealous, please validate my emotion')
Me: Oh Yeah I did! Hey come on man, that's are our classmate! You shouldn't feel jealous! I don't feel jealous at all, I am so happy for them.
(in my mind: (feeling superior) 'Ha ha....Karma gave you what you deserved! Go ahead feeling jealous and inferior, that's exactly how I felt when you won the contest') (2)
<<<<<<<<A Few Months Later<<<<<<<
My cousin and I enter into a cooking contest and she wins
I write an anonymous and nasty letter to the judge stating that they have been partial to my cousin because of her attractive appearance and so they deserve to be kicked out. (3)
<<<<<<<<A Few Years Later<<<<<<<<<
My daughter wins the same contest at her school (that I lost years ago), comes to me with her trophy and certificate and I promptly break her trophy, tear her certificate and tell her she is never ever participating in a competition again. (4)
Trigger: Someone else's achievement.
Effect: Feeling of Jealousy
(These examples are completely fictional and I write from a first person perspective in order to not come across as offensive)
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Comparing (1),(2),(3) and (4) we can clearly see how that tiny but significant part of our own energy that wanted attention from us (and got ignored) mutated into an extremely savage entity.
It stayed at the same vibration and grew to a greater magnitude.
And these unhealthy coping mechanisms that our energy chooses, do not serve a purpose at all, other than to make us go even lower into our downward spiral of negativity.
This is one of the most significant dangers of not acknowledging our shadow self. It will burst out at the least expected moments when you feel most triggered.
By ignoring the shadow self and trying to contain it inside a closet, we may not face its consequences but our children definitely will.
It will reflect in our parenting style.
We will go on to teach our children the exact same unhealthy coping mechanism that we adopted, intentionally or unintentionally, to triggers.
And that, for me, was a rousing wake up call to start acknowledging, respecting, embracing and healing my shadow self.
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This is a three article series. In my next post, I'll write about my experience in healing my shadow self and in the third post I'll explain how embracing our darkness is a path to self realization.