I have learnt that people asking me questions was more out of curiosity and less out of care.
I have learnt that no matter what I reply, they would stick to their judgement of me unless they choose to broaden their perspective.
I learnt that what they thought about me doesn't matter
What I think about me, however, does matter
I don't need to seek approval or approve
I need to seek acceptance of me by myself.
Nobody is going to think better or worse of me.
And the world will move on regardless of whether I follow my dreams or stick to comfort zones.
I am not the center of the universe and there is no spotlight on me deeply analyzing my every move.
Its all in my overthinking mind
Anxiety, perfectionism, being an obsessive control freak, fear of rejection, fear of failure, constant seeking of external validation, is a by product of heavily and unnecessarily processing those opinions of the world, that need to be taken lightly with a pinch of dust.
And I am going to shift away from my social conditioning and recondition myself to be the person I want me to be.
It might take days, weeks, months or years but I will persevere, uncover and transform myself into the person I am authentically meant to be.
"Your first thought shows your social conditioning
your second thought shows your innate nature
your first action shows your character"
Patterns can be rewired
Thoughts can be redirected
Actions can be reformed
Character can be renewed.
That's exactly what I'm doing.