After gaining clarity on the situation, it still was and as a matter of fact is, a shock for me. Some part of me still wants this to be a rumour. Some part of me still wants him to come and clarify that his account had been hacked or something to substantiate the false fact that he was not the one who had made this decision.
Unfortunately, this is his very own clear decision.
To retire from international cricket.
Dhoni and Retire, seem to be very opposing antonyms.
I mean, this guy is a phenomenon not only in cricket but also in life! His literal common man to captain cool story in itself is legendary. He is the superstar of the Indian cricket world, the captain calm of the international world.
I have no idea about and honestly don't care about the format of the game played or for the players in the match, as long as I get to see Dhoni. As a matter of fact, I would switch off the television in those rare days when Dhoni got out, fervently watch him lead the team (mostly to victory) in the second innings and cry my heart out in those rare cases where we (yes I felt a huge sense of identity with him) lost a match.
The larger than life persona we have been made to believe about him, as a person who is calmer than most saints, as a person for whom pressure is nothing, because he seems so put together and poised, makes it very tough to digest that this guy is no more going to win World Cups for us or handle Aussie sledging with class.
This exact image, knowingly or unknowingly built by him, may have been a contributing factor in his lock down blues. When you have the expectation of an entire nation to play forever in cricket, the expectation of the family to call it a day and finally the expectation from yourself, to do what you feel is right for your mental health and peace, making a decision in such a situation is staggering to say the least.
Any other cricketer could have announced retirement and we would have understood them and joyfully given them a farewell party and forgotten about them, because we had our dependable thala to lead any Indian team to victory.
But what happens when the cricketing pioneer himself announces retirement? We are in shock, because this is a huge change for us.
No more blindly supporting a team just because Dhoni is the captain, oh no; we need to be uncertain about every match; we no longer have the complacency to just sit back and relax come what may, because we have such a huge hope that our Captain Cool will save the day.
Now I want to ask all of us, just for how long?
Just for how long did we expect him to do this?
Just for how long did we expect him to play cricket?
Just for how long did we expect him to handle our expectations?
Just for how long did we expect him to avoid listening to his own needs?
So human of all of us, to take another human for granted. And no, I don't mean to bash those of us who yearn for Dhoni to come back. He is a favorite childhood memory for 90s and 2k kids. He is that pillar of support and inspiration in more ways than one for all of us. It is absolutely devastating to think and feel almost an integral part of our identity vanish, to see almost a God-like figure in cricket, come back into being a normal human being.
But isn't that life?
Isn't that how we transition?
Isn't that how we learn to accept and move on?
So I ask all of us, a fan to fan, heart to heart,
let us respect his decision with grace.
Let us respect his needs with grace.
Let us mourn his decision in grace.
And let us prepare for namma thala Dhoni in IPL with fervour.
Whistle Podu and Adichu Thuku thala
Come what may, your fans are here to stay :)
