Understanding Depression

(I wrote this poem in December 2019 and I think it is a raw reflection of my thoughts then)

Standing atop a tall and cold mountain

Just watching your life pass by

So many urgent things to do, but uncertain

About your next step, you just sigh

What is the point of living this meaningless life

When you never get back what you give

When people remember you only for your usefulness

Never for your existence

Frustration, aggression and hormones running high

Wanting to do something to end the pain but feeling worn out,

You cry

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see

Be that happy, dependable person that you’ve always forever been

Conceal, don’t feel,

don’t let anyone know

How could they know?

That you’re depressed, that you’re worn out

That you’re done with your fake façade

That all you want is a fresh new start

To be the authentic you

But you cant

Your imaginary fears gripping you tight

Making you wonder what is wrong and right

Will people accept you…will they approve

When you show your true colors?

What will they think when they know

That you are sometimes selfish, wanting the entire chocolate

That you sometimes hate socializing, wanting your peace

That you sometimes hate lectures and want to sleep?

Paralyzed by these fears, you hesitate to step out

Going deeper and deeper into that downward vortex

Finding comfort in self-pity and in saying “Im just depressed”

Falsely thinking that the entire world is against you

Finding fake happiness in victimizing yourself as a poor creature wronged by society

Life has one thing to tell you

LET GO

Let go of your fears

Let go of your tears

Grow a pair of wings to soar high

Or prepare a parachute to soften your fall

Embrace the unexpected twists and turns

Be brave enough to enjoy life

EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DREAMED OF

IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR

How do I know that? I don't.

I need you to trust me on this and let go.

Not recklessly, not blindly

But with conscious faith and belief

Note:

Depression is a period of “deep rest” where you are forced to evaluate your choices and principles based on which you live your life, because your soul is warning you that the life you are living isn’t your true purpose. Embrace the experience of depression, taking it as a guide that will show you what truly makes you happy. This doesn’t mean that you find your purpose only after a period of depression (though it has been a historically proven fact); it is just one of the many ways through which we learn who we are and evolve into a kinder, happier version of ourselves.

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PARINAAMA

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