(I wrote this poem in December 2019 and I think it is a raw reflection of my thoughts then)
Standing atop a tall and cold mountain
Just watching your life pass by
So many urgent things to do, but uncertain
About your next step, you just sigh
What is the point of living this meaningless life
When you never get back what you give
When people remember you only for your usefulness
Never for your existence
Frustration, aggression and hormones running high
Wanting to do something to end the pain but feeling worn out,
You cry
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be that happy, dependable person that you’ve always forever been
Conceal, don’t feel,
don’t let anyone know
How could they know?
That you’re depressed, that you’re worn out
That you’re done with your fake façade
That all you want is a fresh new start
To be the authentic you
But you cant
Your imaginary fears gripping you tight
Making you wonder what is wrong and right
Will people accept you…will they approve
When you show your true colors?
What will they think when they know
That you are sometimes selfish, wanting the entire chocolate
That you sometimes hate socializing, wanting your peace
That you sometimes hate lectures and want to sleep?
Paralyzed by these fears, you hesitate to step out
Going deeper and deeper into that downward vortex
Finding comfort in self-pity and in saying “Im just depressed”
Falsely thinking that the entire world is against you
Finding fake happiness in victimizing yourself as a poor creature wronged by society
Life has one thing to tell you
LET GO
Let go of your fears
Let go of your tears
Grow a pair of wings to soar high
Or prepare a parachute to soften your fall
Embrace the unexpected twists and turns
Be brave enough to enjoy life
EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DREAMED OF
IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR
How do I know that? I don't.
I need you to trust me on this and let go.
Not recklessly, not blindly
But with conscious faith and belief
Note:
Depression is a period of “deep rest” where you are forced to evaluate your choices and principles based on which you live your life, because your soul is warning you that the life you are living isn’t your true purpose. Embrace the experience of depression, taking it as a guide that will show you what truly makes you happy. This doesn’t mean that you find your purpose only after a period of depression (though it has been a historically proven fact); it is just one of the many ways through which we learn who we are and evolve into a kinder, happier version of ourselves.
