Let's view it from a scientific and logical perspective.
It has been proven that we are made of atoms from stardust as most of the elements that make up the human body and every creature in existence were originally present in stars (i.e) the collisions with asteroids, comets, solar waves from other stars over millions of years prior to the formation of the first ever living being on this planet, brought the necessary elements essential for life to this planet.
So, logically, soulmates must be people with most number of complementary atoms.
You see one person with whom you feel that you share so much in common and you try to get to know them deeper and deeper. Your intimacy with them grows exponentially and you propose to each other and so on goes forth the relationship.
Now stop.
What if there was someone with more number of complementary atoms? How would you know that the person you are with is most definitely "The One"?
You would say "I felt that they were the one" and in the rosy tinted glass of affection with which you look at your significant other, their faults melt away and their desirable traits seem highly exaggerated.
You would say "I felt that they were the one" and in the rosy tinted glass of affection with which you look at your significant other, their faults melt away and their desirable traits seem highly exaggerated.
I am certainly not advocating casual superficial flings with multiple people to get to know who "The One" is for you!
I want to convey that "the one" is an egoistic concept that gives us a safety net telling us that it is someone else's duty to make us feel 'whole' and 'secure' and that we need to be completely open with only one person in this lifetime because being vulnerable with many people scares the crap out of us and is considered to be weak.
Let's assume you have a lovely partner who is a very open and vulnerable person, to the point where everyone they meet feels a deep connection with them. It is quite natural for you to feel insecure and doubtfully think if you are truly special to them.
It is at these points that you need to remember that it is not your partner's duty to make you feel special every waking second of your life. They may surprise you now and then, help you out, support your dreams etc.
Your insecurity does not give you the authority to stop them when they want to support someone else purely out of a compassionate feeling.
You can and you should convey your insecurity to them and work on overcoming it together as partners but your insecurity shouldn't stop them from pursuing their goals.
If you feel highly that the insecurity is too much for you to handle and if no collaborations or compromises are working out, be open enough to convey the same to them, learn to say good bye and part ways amicably rather than clinging on for the sake of the bond and out of fear of being alone (which tends to ruin both of you).
Which makes this lovely partner to not be "the one".
So, alternatively, what if "the one" doesn't exist?
What if, this whole time, we were wrong in applying our definition of "the one" to a third person?
If we apply the same definition of "The One" to our own soul, we can never find anyone (other than us) who knows us completely, accepts us, stays with us no matter what and with whom we can be truly vulnerable, feel safe and secure always.
I want to convey that "the one" is an egoistic concept that gives us a safety net telling us that it is someone else's duty to make us feel 'whole' and 'secure' and that we need to be completely open with only one person in this lifetime because being vulnerable with many people scares the crap out of us and is considered to be weak.
Let's assume you have a lovely partner who is a very open and vulnerable person, to the point where everyone they meet feels a deep connection with them. It is quite natural for you to feel insecure and doubtfully think if you are truly special to them.
It is at these points that you need to remember that it is not your partner's duty to make you feel special every waking second of your life. They may surprise you now and then, help you out, support your dreams etc.
Your insecurity does not give you the authority to stop them when they want to support someone else purely out of a compassionate feeling.
You can and you should convey your insecurity to them and work on overcoming it together as partners but your insecurity shouldn't stop them from pursuing their goals.
If you feel highly that the insecurity is too much for you to handle and if no collaborations or compromises are working out, be open enough to convey the same to them, learn to say good bye and part ways amicably rather than clinging on for the sake of the bond and out of fear of being alone (which tends to ruin both of you).
Which makes this lovely partner to not be "the one".
So, alternatively, what if "the one" doesn't exist?
What if, this whole time, we were wrong in applying our definition of "the one" to a third person?
If we apply the same definition of "The One" to our own soul, we can never find anyone (other than us) who knows us completely, accepts us, stays with us no matter what and with whom we can be truly vulnerable, feel safe and secure always.
Then who is a life partner? A life partner is another individual who has similar values and goals as you do and hence you mutually agree to not only help, care for and support each other for a lifetime but also try to help make the world a better place, together.
Sometimes we run away from ourselves and seek safety, security and comfort in the presence of someone else and learn to adjust to their demons because we feel it would be much more easier to adjust with someone else than to understand ourselves.
The truth is, our understanding of others is a reflection of our understanding of ourselves. Adjusting to someone else's flaws is just an externally motivated coping mechanism, something we do to keep the bond alive.
If you go deeper within yourself and try to understand your traits, your core nature, your faults, your demons, the feeling is liberating though the process is tedious.
Paradoxically, the more you learn to truly love, accept, discipline, grow and support yourself, the more accepting, loving and supporting of you the outside world becomes.
So, in conclusion, we are "The One" for ourselves.
The truth is, our understanding of others is a reflection of our understanding of ourselves. Adjusting to someone else's flaws is just an externally motivated coping mechanism, something we do to keep the bond alive.
If you go deeper within yourself and try to understand your traits, your core nature, your faults, your demons, the feeling is liberating though the process is tedious.
Paradoxically, the more you learn to truly love, accept, discipline, grow and support yourself, the more accepting, loving and supporting of you the outside world becomes.
So, in conclusion, we are "The One" for ourselves.
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| this is self love |