Our Eternal Mother

The universe knows my struggle

As I face nightmares in my sleep

It knows my ecstatic happiness

When I achieve my dreams within this dream

The awakening is tough

When I force^ myself to become aware

That my reality is but maya (slumber)

That my consciousness needs elevation

In the name of renunciation

Don't force yourself dear little one

The eternal universe warmly says

What use is it to show the secrets of the cosmos,

to a half awakened child who would rather prefer its sleep?

What use is it to show nectar

To a tiger loving its meat?

Come to me when you're ready little one, forever awaiting your arrival, i will be

Fear not the world you leave behind, for I am the true reality

Forsake your ahamkaara*

Forsake your sense of self

For you are a dramatist emoting my script

A director's actor, a breathing puppet

Take however long to arrive at this realization

Fear not death, for it is but the next journey on

Try to do good, be good and kind to all

For the law of cause and effect will reward you, be it your rise or your fall

Forget not thy dignity and thy purpose

Enjoy as much as you can, this repose

Come to me when you feel saturated and ready to wake

How many ever lifetimes that may take

I, your eternal mother, await thee

For aeons i have and for eons i will be.

___________________________________________________

^force myself to become aware - when I attended a spiritual discourse for the first time, i felt drawn to the idea of spirituality and renunciation to such an extent that i wanted to "prepare" for the journey and would force myself to forsake little joys, only to let my passions win and in the end, end up "defeated" and feeling guilty. I became aware of the ego trap I had put myself into, because i secretly wanted to feel superior to my peers by advancing in my spiritual journey (!! Utterly wrong intentions!! No wonder i ended up discarding a golden opportunity for the sake of egoistic praise). Now, I'm in a much better place, mentally and spiritually.

*ahamkaara- Sanksrit for "I do";

in this context, it refers to our sense of individuality and the ego that focusses on the subject I instead of the verb did with respect to any outcome creating action (i.e.) "the event occured because of me and my doing", when in reality, we are mere instruments through which the outcome has occurred and not the determiner of the outcome itself.

Karmic Forces (1) - Conversations

This is the first part in a 6 part fictional story series. Everything in this story is purely imaginary with inspirations from real life. Any resemblances to any person or occasion in real life is completely coincidental. 1. Conversations Tired out by the activities of the day, Miraa changed into her loose yellow t shirt and black pants, turned on the AC, curled up in her bed, comforter carelessly strewn over her feet, nose hooked inside a book, eyes and mind engrossed in its contents. She was a 20 year old college goer, with small, brown eyes, a rather flat nose, a set of imperfect, yellowish, crooked teeth and with wavy, shoulder-length, black hair now tied in a characteristic bun, with a milky complexion. As she continued reading, a chill went down her spine. The chill had nothing to do with the atmosphere provided by the air conditioner nor with the gripping story of the book. A feeling of being watched, almost that of being quietly examined, suddenly made her feel vulne...

Breaking Away from Social Conditioning

I have learnt that people asking me questions was more out of curiosity and less out of care. I have learnt that no matter what I reply, they would stick to their judgement of me unless they choose to broaden their perspective. I learnt that what they thought about me doesn't matter What I think about me , however, does matter I don't need to seek approval or approve I need to seek acceptance of me by myself. Nobody is going to think better or worse of me. And the world will move on regardless of whether I follow my dreams or stick to comfort zones. I am not the center of the universe and there is no spotlight on me deeply analyzing my every move. Its all in my overthinking mind Anxiety, perfectionism, being an obsessive control freak, fear of rejection, fear of failure, constant seeking of external validation, is a by product of heavily and unnecessarily processing those opinions of the world, that need to be taken lightly with a pinch of dust. And I a...

I made it to the beginning

Lying for months inside fear and self doubt, crippled, Hoping for a saviour strong Praying for deliverance every second Not daring to make a move, in case it went wrong Day after day, as I lay low Watching my fears grow The thought of giving up inviting for me, who was tired and exhausted of fighting Why are there no answers to my cries of agony? If there is a God, where is He? If there is a universe, what is it doing? Am I delusional to pray so? thus escalated my brooding. At times, there came flickers of light Too small to enlighten but present Ecstatic I become on seeing such a sight And strength in my faith, escalating Suddenly, the surroundings all dark I feel pulled from all directions, tortured Layers of my being were being torn Though afraid, to the memories of that light I latched on A test to my faith, it seemed so As unimaginable pain and discomfort Taunted my mind, which thought It impossible to get respite from this incessant storm Suddenly...

PARINAAMA

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