Skip to main content

Karmic Forces (6) - New Beginnings

This is the sixth and final part of this 6 part fictional story series.

Everything in this story is purely imaginary with inspirations from real life.

Any resemblance to any person or occasion in real life is completely coincidental.

6. New Beginnings


With trembling fingers, she opened the message. It was a simple 'hey'.

Visibly trembling all over, Miraa hesitantly replied, 'hi Vineeth😅', hoping that the sweating emoji conveyed her anxiety.

The response was immediate. 'Wanna call you to tell something. When can I call?'

If Miraa could have run away from the face of the earth, she would have. Unfortunately not having that option, eager to respond yet fearful of what she might hear, she consoled herself by thinking that the worst thing Vineeth could probably say was that he never wanted to speak to her again and to keep things formal between them henceforth. Not being much comforted by this thought but finding no other way, Miraa replied 'Sure, you can call anytime. Even now!😃'.

'ok' came the reply.

Miraa's mind went into overdrive. Vineeth used to pepper his messages with emojis but now he didn't. His replies were curt and polite, unlike the paragraphs he would usually send. Now easily convinced of her previous theory of why he had messaged her, Miraa started nodding her head fervently, as though trying to accept a reality she did not want to face. Her phone buzzed and it was Vineeth who had called.

"Hello Miraa..", said the husky voice, polite yet cold.

"Hi Vineeth....urm...so...er....are you? I mean... how are you?", Miraa responded, her hesitant voice betraying her anxiety.

"Good... all good."

An awkward silence took up the next 30 seconds as Miraa felt very sure that her heart's impromptu thumping noise could be heard by him.

"Urm, I just called to say, I'm sorry for cold shouldering you when you came to reconcile with me. I needed my space to even try trusting you again, which I couldn't tell in words and felt that my action of ignoring you would convey that. I understand how much it would have hurt you, especially when you had apologised to me for your actions every time we met at college and tried to patch up with me. I'm sorry..."

Miraa felt shell shocked, hardly able to believe what she had just heard. Her mind replayed the events that had occurred in a sickeningly fast flashback, of her making Vasuki her world, causing her to ignore her best friend Vineeth completely, every single time blatantly refusing his attempts to hang out with her as friends, to the point of her avoiding his classroom as much as she could, taking detours lest she meet him. If this weren't enough, she had never ever mentioned the existence of Vasuki to Vineeth, which he had accidentally found out when he saw Vasuki and Miraa sitting together at the canteen the very same day she had refused his plans for a hangout by stating that she was busy. An embarrassed Miraa had introduced Vasuki as her "friendly senior" to Vineeth, who, having seen how Miraa had fawned over Vasuki, had understood clearly that Vasuki was more than that to her. 

The only person she considered to be her close friend since school, Vineeth had also landed a seat in Miraa's college, something that both of them had been ecstatic about. They had made many innocent plans of having fun in their college life, swearing to each other that they would stay single throughout. Vineeth was in a department different than Miraa's and ironically the same as Vasuki's. He had heard the rumours flying in his department of how the most respected senior Vasuki had fallen in love with a girl from Miraa's department and he had initially laughed about it, thinking Miraa would share some juicy gossip about these happenings. It was therefore, a huge shock and sense of betrayal for him, when he realised that that very girl, was Miraa.

He didn't know much about Vasuki, but sensed something off with him the moment he laid his eyes on him. Had it not been for the sense of protective brotherhood he felt with Miraa, he would have cut her off the moment he realised he had been played the fool and taken for granted, which was when Miraa unexpectedly called him one fine day, not to apologise for having kept such a huge secret (which was what he had been eagerly expecting), but to downright demand him to come pick her up from the mall, drop her off home and tell her mother that they two had gone for a hangout, when in reality it was that she had been with Vasuki.

Even then, Vineeth had done his duty as her friend and had tried to diplomatically tell her that she had entered a relationship too soon, all the while controlling his anger, only to be chafed condescendingly by Miraa, who bluntly told him that it was none of his business. This was the last straw that broke his back. After dropping Miraa off to her home and telling a loophole filled statement to her trusting mother that he had gone to the mall and returned with Miraa, Vineeth had left to his house, devastated.

He would race to complete all his work before it was due, just to make time for Miraa, and it hurt him brutally when he realised that Miraa had taken him for granted. He fell into depression and loneliness, taking help from his classmates and avoided her.

Miraa had come back to him a few months later, this time with an apology, begging his forgiveness. He had rebuked her outrightly, stating what all she had done and how abandoned and betrayed he had felt because of her actions. Miraa persisted, to the point of trying to talk to him every time she saw him, only to be cold shouldered. She had bought him gifts he would like and had arranged a surprise birthday party for him, yet he remained distant. At long last, Miraa had given up on her attempts entirely, having accepted her fate. Vineeth felt relieved, thanking her mentally for finally stopping her nauseating advances.

Vineeth's voice on the phone snapped Miraa out of her flashback, as she heard him say, "Miraa... you there?"

"Uh yeah...just got lost in thoughts... sorry about that"

"Fine leave it... The reason why I'm even talking to you is because I value the person you used to be with me, before college, and I guess the reason for your ignorance was because you were lost in love. I just want to say, we used to be awesome besties and yeah it hurt when you didn't trust me with your secret.. but maybe that was the limit you drew between us... so yeah... I won't really be ignoring you anymore... but I dunno if we'll be who we used to be... I hope you know at least now to value people properly. I'll stop my rambling... so how are things with you? And how is your boyfriend?"

"Ex boyfriend. I don't know and I don't care."

"Wait what?! You guys broke up?"

"I finally managed to end things with him after multiple attempts.. yeah we're over"

"Multiple attempts? Miraa what are you saying? I can't understand!"

 Deciding it would be better to tell Vineeth what had occurred exactly as it had occurred, Miraa narrated the sequence of events in her abusive relationship, as Vineeth listened in total silence.

When Miraa had ended her narrative, Vineeth genuinely said, "I wish I had been there for you.. wouldn't have let that asshole touch you"

"We had our issues then, you and me. So its okay. And, I'm sorry, once again. For what I had done. It was completely immature, disgusting and something I will never repeat, ever again. I am so sorry Vineeth. Please forgive me", Miraa said, her voice meek even as her head drooped in guilt.

"I don't hold grudges.. you know that about me. And I am not judging your character based on your past actions. Judgements are fixed.. humans change. But why didn't you tell me about him Miraa? I would have never judged you for your choices."

"I was ashamed Vineeth. Ashamed that I had entered a relationship so soon. And when things went south, I was even more disgusted at myself and too proud to ask for help when I needed it. Served me well in the end, didn't it"

"You were never good at sarcasm to start with. Too proud to ask your own friends? Seriously?"

"Yeah I know.. how stupid of me. I've changed now though. And I'm not saying this to get back your trust. Just saying I'm glad I'm no more that dumbhead"

"Does aunty know? About this?"

"She does, parts of it. Parts which can be told. Not the other parts."

"I understand"

As the silence threatened to engulf them again, Miraa blurted, more out of curiosity and less out of anxiety.

"Do you still want to be friends with me Vineeth?"

"Depends. Do you want to be friends?"

"Urm, I do... but I want us to start over. See how it goes. If the friendship happens, okay. If not, also okay."

"Okay... and listen... you free this evening?"

"Yeah sure"

"Okay, I sort of wanted to come over in a video call. Can I?"

"Sure sure definitely. I'll tell amma"

"Okay. See you. Bye"

Vineeth hung up before she could respond. Miraa still felt dazed, looking at her phone, realising their call had extended to an hour. Archana and Kumar had gone out for grocery shopping, after repeatedly asking Miraa if she would be okay staying at home alone. 'What perfect timing though... how coincidental', Miraa mused, as she dialled her mom's number. It was busy. Texting her mother about the video call plan, she dropped her phone on her bed, going back to doing her homework.

Archana and Kumar soon returned, laden with essentials along with some treats. They removed their masks, sanitised their exposed hands and feet and proceeded to hug Miraa.

"I am so happy to see you and Vineeth as friends again baby.. he is such a good friend of yours and I am glad you were able to bury the hatchet... isn't that why you two are going to video call later this evening?", Archana asked.

"Yes ma, we are. I'm happy too. Very unexpected."

"That isn't the only unexpected thing for you today... we got your favourite chocolates too!", winked her father, laughing at his own joke.

Rolling her eyes at this apparent daddy joke, Miraa smiled at her dad, and went on with her work.

A few hours later, she dressed herself up, not wanting to look shabby, keen on making a good impression on her reconciled friend. She sat in front of her laptop, opened Skype, saw Vineeth online, restrained herself from calling him and waited for him to call, careful not to seem too excited or too desperate at wanting to be friends.

Vineeth typed "Sorry, just a few more minutes, my net connection is pretty slow here..it'll get better soon"

Miraa replied with an thumbs up and smiley emoji, as she sat with her knuckles on her cheeks, bored.

A few seconds later, she was added to a group video call.

"HI MIRAA SOO GOOD TO SEE YOU HOW ARE YOU!!!!", said voices in chorus, each belonging to her gang of friends from school.

Miraa stared at them stunned, not knowing what to say, feeling overwhelmed and dropped her face into her hands, taking deep breaths.

"Dude if you cry, I will kick you out of this meeting.", Vineeth said seriously

Miraa snapped out of her shock and started laughing hysterically and infectiously, setting the entire gang into splits, since the sound of her laughter was hilarious.

The gang soon fell into talking about the good ol' days, reminiscing about their antics, lamenting their studiousness, teasing each other with their nicknames and even playing a game of Dumb Charades, organised by Vineeth. A good hour later, they started leaving the group call one by one, each expressing how much fun it had been. One of them remarked at Vineeth's excellent negotiation and management skills, saying it was he who had put together this impromptu meeting mere hours earlier, asking everyone to attend it. Before Vineeth could attempt to mute this annoyance, the tattle tale left.

Now it was just Vineeth and Miraa. 

"So, hope you had a good time Miraa.. bye.."

"Vineeth wait. You put this together? For me?"

"No Miraa, it was for your grandmother. 
Idiot. Yeah I managed to get them all together.. wasn't a big deal"

"But... after all that had happened... you still did this"

"Are you telling me that I should go back to ignoring you? I can do it" 

"No not at all... oh crap I didn't mean that... I meant... oh God....I.. well I never expected this... I thought we were just gonna be.. formal friends...and that it would take a long time for us to get close" 

"You are mistaken. You could have forgotten what an awesome friend you were to me but I haven't... I wanted you to experience true friendship and that sense of belonging our school gang gave. 
And also, I had to repay you for that surprise birthday party...which was nice.. but which I rather you hadn't done ... since I still wanted space and didn't want to see you"

"Oh, I'm sorry again for that... wow I've been an idiot to you.. trying to force my presence into your face ...urgh...reminds me of Vasuki... we two sure had something in common"

"I agree. You two were very similar in that regard"

"Ouch... savage statement Mr. Vin Diesel." 

"Need some aloe for that burn?"

Vineeth and Miraa started laughing, finally being able to see each other eye to eye, with clear hearts and free minds. They talked and teased some more, and Miraa ended the call, feeling happy. 

As her mother called her for dinner, Miraa absent-mindedly went to the dining table, her head in cloud nine, her mind reeling with sudden realisations.

She could not believe the miracle that had happened. 

She had reconciled with Vineeth, rejoined her friends gang, she had parents she could safely be herself with and genuinely trust and rely on for support! 

Most importantly, loneliness would be a rarity for her after this, since she had enough trust in herself and in her family and friends to be there for her when she needed and wanted their support. 

Miraa mentally thanked all the gods and spirits she knew for this unexpected turn of events. 

Sure it wasn't how it used to be; it was even better. 

Therapy had helped her so much, allowing her to heal, giving her the courage to be herself and own herself completely. 

She had also learnt the maturity to know that friendships and relationships needed consistent nurturing from both ends and she knew she would enjoy every moment of renewing her friendships, this time with honest, nurturing and supportive intentions. 

Miraa had finally gotten the courage to live her life on her own terms without waiting for anyone's validation. She had evolved as a person, from a self pitying, victim card pulling, people pleasing, validation seeking, spineless coward to an empowered, self assured, vigilant, open minded, empathic, compassionate, courageous, assertive person with no nonsense mentality and strong boundaries.

She was still healing herself and was empowered enough to start her life afresh.

She was no longer waiting anxiously for her next love since she knew it was no longer about finding someone to complete her but to be with someone who would support her. With the favourable turn of events, she had enough support from everyone she loved and she knew she didn't need a romantic relationship anymore since quite frankly, she would be too busy healing and improving herself to feel anxious about when she would meet "the one" for her. It could wait and it would be worth the wait.

Smiling at this thought, she sat down at the table, feeling content.

And quite suddenly, Miraa experienced a strange epiphany. 

She felt a very strong urge to share her story with the world. She knew it was something she would want to do, since she knew why she had been who she had been and she would never want anyone else to go through what she had been through. 

Yes her abuser was still out there and as much as she wanted to get "justice", she knew nothing would compare to the inner peace she had now. She had let go completely, having forgiven her abuser, though not forgetting the pain, which was the primary catalyst that urged her to share it with others. 

She wanted to help at least someone out there with her experience and she no longer cared if people shamed her for who she had been or if they rejected her raw truth.

As she exhaled deeply, trying to relieve the weight of her thoughts and trying to focus on her dinner, with her mind already buzzing with ideas for penning down her story and her heart filled with a sense of purpose, she knew one thing for sure. 

Miraa was ready to face the world.

And she felt, at last, free.

THE END

//All images have been linked to their sources unless otherwise//
________________________

Musing: 

I am not this story 
but the pen that writes it
__________________________ 

Popular posts from this blog

A translation of Malargal Kaeten - A tribute to the Universe

(best experienced with music👆) Malargal Kaettaen Vanamae Thanthanai Flowers I asked, A flowering garden you gave Thanneer Kaettaen Amirtham Thanthanai Water I asked, Nectar you gave Malargal Kaettaen Vanamae Thanthanai Flowers I asked, A flowering garden you gave Thanneer Kaettaen Amirtham Thanthanai Water I asked, Nectar you gave Yedhai naan kaetpin.... What should I ask then... ...Aaaahhhhhh....Aaaahhhhhhh... Y edhai naan kaetpin  unaiyae tharuvaai ....? What should I ask then, for you to give yourself (to me)....? Yedhai naan kaetpin unaiyae tharuvaai ....? What should I ask then, for you to give yourself (to me)....? Malargal Kaettaen Vanamae Thanthanai Flowers I asked, A flowering garden you gave Thanneer Kaettaen Amirtham Thanthanai Water I asked, Nectar you gave Malargal Kaettaen... Malargal Kaettaen.... Malargal Kaettaen... Malargal Kaettaen... Yedhai naan kaetpin unaiyae tharuvaai ....? What should I ask then, for you to give yourself (to me)....? Ga - Ga Ma Ga Ma - Ri Ma Ga

Insights from MBA - Work, Play, Tea and Everything in Between

It's 12:38 AM in my clock.  I'm on holidays.  Ideally I could be asleep. But I'm not. I honestly miss the life at campus, where, on a regular day, I'd be in a frenzied brainstorming session with my group mates, trying to squeeze our collective brain cells to come up with a presentation for the 8 AM lecture next day.  I've had plenty of ups and downs, surprises and disappointments, core memories and gut wrenching experiences in a bundle of mere 6 months with this course. Each day would be different in its challenges. Navigating everything  - new approaches to lectures, discussions, interpersonal relationships, the dynamic campus layout (it deserves a Marauder's Map), being boxed into a solo room, finding friends, finding yourself... the list goes on!! - and trying to stay afloat without nearing burnout is an achievement of its own. I was foolish enough to think I could glide through this with grace. I had accumulated so many useful mindsets, techniques, tools and

BYOV- Be Your Own Valentine

Greetings wanderer! I sure hope January 2021 has been a month of reflections, insights, celebrations and joy for you as it has been for me. I cannot believe the extent to which I have accelerated in my spiritual journey and I have my amazingly supportive and wonderfully open minded soul family to thank ( shout out to y'all! ) for being with me every step of the way. Alright, before you switch tabs or exit this page entirely (I promise it contains exactly what the title says... bear with me as you always lovingly do), I dive deep into today's topic (which has a lot to do with the preamble of this article) and announce to your ever supportive eyes that this year on, I am my own valentine (by choice)! Self Partnering is the new Single What do I mean by that?  I mean to say I have learnt to unconditionally accept and love the beautiful jumble of soul, spirit, mind, muscle and bones that forms me. I have promised to me that I'll nurture myself everyday and strive to transform al

Ads