Skip to main content

I made it to the beginning

Peace Can't Wait – Hood Memorial Christian Church

Lying for months inside fear and self doubt, crippled,
Hoping for a saviour strong
Praying for deliverance every second
Not daring to make a move, in case it went wrong

Day after day, as I lay low
Watching my fears grow
The thought of giving up inviting
for me, who was tired and exhausted of fighting

Why are there no answers to my cries of agony?
If there is a God, where is He?
If there is a universe, what is it doing?
Am I delusional to pray so? thus escalated my brooding.

At times, there came flickers of light
Too small to enlighten but present
Ecstatic I become on seeing such a sight
And strength in my faith, escalating

Suddenly, the surroundings all dark
I feel pulled from all directions, tortured
Layers of my being were being torn
Though afraid, to the memories of that light I latched on

A test to my faith, it seemed so
As unimaginable pain and discomfort
Taunted my mind, which thought
It impossible to get respite from this incessant storm

Suddenly, the pain subsided
The storm vanished, as though no more
A warmth touched my eyes
And strengthened my soul

Disbelievingly, I slowly uncurl
Feeling a tickling gentle shock throughout my form
Stepping forward hesitantly, I find
The earth firm beneath my feet, the entrapment gone

Standing tall, I discover
A pair of leaves waving confidently
A network of firm roots nourishing
A tender yet infinitely strong body

Surrounding me are hundreds of massive trees
That the storm hath not hurt? I ponder
And realize that it was a storm within me
That helped me become and evolve.

Popular posts from this blog

Inside the Mind of a Missionary Worker

I wrote this poem in an attempt to dive inside the mind of missionary workers and healthcare warriors, who are the need of our pandemic struck world.  I was curious to explore how they could genuinely and unconditionally give sisterly and brotherly love to victimized people, who often shame themselves - as in, they hate their own existence and don't love themselves.  It's easy to love people who love themselves or at least have learnt to deal with their insecurities and have stopped projecting their fears and complexes onto other people.  But how does one love someone who hates themselves?  Let's see. I want to love you  no matter what you do whether you hit, beat or curse I want to love you no matter who you are genuine or a toxic farce I want to love you no matter what you throw defenses, screams and abuses galore I want to love you You know why? It's the only thing that's gonna  set me free and help me fly So how do I love you when you are this mess of s...

The Whispers of Pure Love - Nenjukul Peidhidum Translation

Headphones and ambient volume  recommended :) Play the song and enjoy the meaning Nenjukkul peidhidum maamazhai A gentle rainstorm in my heart Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai A delicate lotus sinks in its waters Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai Suddenly the weather changes Penne un mel pizhai! Girl, it's all your fault! (that I feel all this when I think of you) Nillamal veesidum peralai Ceaseless waves (of love) crash (on me) Nenjukkul neenthidum thaaragai My sweetheart swims in my heart Pon vannam soodiya kaarigai A dazzling precious damsel Penne nee kaanchanai Girl you are golden Oh shaanthi shaanti oh shaanthi Oh Shanthi.. Yen uyirai uyirai neeyenthi You have taken away my heart Yen sendraai sendraai yennai thaandi Why did you cross over and beyond me? Ini neethan yenthan andhaathi Hereafter you alone are my beginning and ending Nenjukkul peidhidum maamazhai A gentle rainstorm in my heart Neerukul moozhgidum thaamarai A lotus sinking in its waters Sattendru maarudhu vaanilai Suddenly ...

An Apology to My Inner Critic

Dear Inner Critic, It feels weird to call you dear when I've been antagonizing you my entire life; when in fact any motivational video that I've come across has only lectured me to ignore you and prove you wrong.   I loved ignoring you because you just seem to pop out of nowhere to be my personalized buzz kill.  I loved proving you wrong because it weirdly boosts my ego, for me to tell "I told you I was right" to a voice that always tells me this dialog (mini revenge). But you know what, Covid has hit the world and locked me up in self isolation and I fell into the world of personal development ( because why not? ).  And I have made amazing progress to say the least but I seem to be having a major stumbling point when it comes to "compassion" - the art of having concern for the misfortune of others and being willing to look beyond their flaws - with people who I have felt hurt by ( obviously including you ).  I mean, I can have compassion for people who...

Ads