I made it to the beginning

Peace Can't Wait – Hood Memorial Christian Church

Lying for months inside fear and self doubt, crippled,
Hoping for a saviour strong
Praying for deliverance every second
Not daring to make a move, in case it went wrong

Day after day, as I lay low
Watching my fears grow
The thought of giving up inviting
for me, who was tired and exhausted of fighting

Why are there no answers to my cries of agony?
If there is a God, where is He?
If there is a universe, what is it doing?
Am I delusional to pray so? thus escalated my brooding.

At times, there came flickers of light
Too small to enlighten but present
Ecstatic I become on seeing such a sight
And strength in my faith, escalating

Suddenly, the surroundings all dark
I feel pulled from all directions, tortured
Layers of my being were being torn
Though afraid, to the memories of that light I latched on

A test to my faith, it seemed so
As unimaginable pain and discomfort
Taunted my mind, which thought
It impossible to get respite from this incessant storm

Suddenly, the pain subsided
The storm vanished, as though no more
A warmth touched my eyes
And strengthened my soul

Disbelievingly, I slowly uncurl
Feeling a tickling gentle shock throughout my form
Stepping forward hesitantly, I find
The earth firm beneath my feet, the entrapment gone

Standing tall, I discover
A pair of leaves waving confidently
A network of firm roots nourishing
A tender yet infinitely strong body

Surrounding me are hundreds of massive trees
That the storm hath not hurt? I ponder
And realize that it was a storm within me
That helped me become and evolve.

A Birthday Post to Me (Why not? :P)

Today marks the beginning of the 20th year of my earthly existence, although I feel like a 10 year old kid with 10 years of work experience with life. I generally wouldn't really like celebrating my birthday (which would usually consist of wishes from my loved ones, a new dress gifted by my parents and a surprise cake from my sister). I felt I had to achieve something worthy enough to call for a "celebration", so to speak. But this year though, is so radically different. Obviously, the year 2020 or infamously known as The Year That Must Not Be Named (Voldemort reference), has turned all birthdays from the month of March into "Quarantine Birthdays", because literally, the birthday humans were either in self isolation or in lock down. Yet for me, this is such a beautiful birthday that I take pride in celebrating. This day is definitely a cornerstone and a turning point in my life. It marks the culmination of my inner journey of soul searching, life purpose findin...

The Entitled Generation

Imagine a child, born innocent and naive, vulnerable and susceptible to any influence, wired subconsciously to mirror their parent and gain their approval and acceptance, to survive as a tribe. The child laughs, cries, screams and has meltdowns as it explores its own self The parent does what they think is best for their peace: Controlling the child's “unruliness” by alternatively begging and shouting at them or gratifying their desires just to keep them quiet. (Read: Not disciplining them) The child paints on walls? It receives scoldings The child breaks its feet? Scoldings The child screams that it wants ice cream at a hotel? Scoldings These kids are shown children of their own age who apparently have “model behavior” and they are asked by the frustrated nurturer: “ Why can't you be like that kid! Why can't you shut up and stay put for sometime! ” What the parent means to say is: “ Make life easier for me by suppressing yourself, because I cannot handle yo...

That Special Someone

Someone who respects you, treats you right, unconditionally loves you, who sees the beauty in your cracks, heals you, nurtures you, bears with your mistakes, forgives you, takes time-outs when the stress is too much but doesn't break the bond, who encourages you to be your best self, is your biggest motivator & cheerleader, celebrates your baby steps, has your back when you stumble and fall, never uses your insecurities against you, never puts you down or beats you up never shames you for being yourself who never forces you to do anything who respects your privacy gives you the time and space you need, expects nothing but to see you thrive in doing what you love, is always there to give you love and understanding no matter how your day went or how your life is, who has boundaries which you respect, stops you before you burn yourself out, acts like a sounding board ...

PARINAAMA

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