I made it to the beginning

Peace Can't Wait – Hood Memorial Christian Church

Lying for months inside fear and self doubt, crippled,
Hoping for a saviour strong
Praying for deliverance every second
Not daring to make a move, in case it went wrong

Day after day, as I lay low
Watching my fears grow
The thought of giving up inviting
for me, who was tired and exhausted of fighting

Why are there no answers to my cries of agony?
If there is a God, where is He?
If there is a universe, what is it doing?
Am I delusional to pray so? thus escalated my brooding.

At times, there came flickers of light
Too small to enlighten but present
Ecstatic I become on seeing such a sight
And strength in my faith, escalating

Suddenly, the surroundings all dark
I feel pulled from all directions, tortured
Layers of my being were being torn
Though afraid, to the memories of that light I latched on

A test to my faith, it seemed so
As unimaginable pain and discomfort
Taunted my mind, which thought
It impossible to get respite from this incessant storm

Suddenly, the pain subsided
The storm vanished, as though no more
A warmth touched my eyes
And strengthened my soul

Disbelievingly, I slowly uncurl
Feeling a tickling gentle shock throughout my form
Stepping forward hesitantly, I find
The earth firm beneath my feet, the entrapment gone

Standing tall, I discover
A pair of leaves waving confidently
A network of firm roots nourishing
A tender yet infinitely strong body

Surrounding me are hundreds of massive trees
That the storm hath not hurt? I ponder
And realize that it was a storm within me
That helped me become and evolve.

Karmic Forces (2) - Perspective

This is the second part in a 6 part fictional story series. Everything in this story is purely imaginary with inspirations from real life. Any resemblance to any person or occasion in real life is completely coincidental. 2. Perspective Miraa got up from the bathroom floor, disoriented. She heard her mother bang on the room's door, shouting, "Miraa, what do you want for breakfast? When is your next class?" . Relieved that her mother had not sensed her internal battle in the bathroom, Miraa got out of the bathroom, went to the her room's door and tried to reply as calmly as possible, " Anything but Upma ma! My next class is at 12!" . She hadn't done a good job of covering up her weak, broken voice, since pat came the next interrogation, " Your voice is low dear.. what happened? Are you okay? Was it another nightmare?" . Miraa smiled, understanding her mom's concern. She had had nightmares of her abuser chasing her, finding her, torturing he...

Karmic Forces (1) - Conversations

This is the first part in a 6 part fictional story series. Everything in this story is purely imaginary with inspirations from real life. Any resemblances to any person or occasion in real life is completely coincidental. 1. Conversations Tired out by the activities of the day, Miraa changed into her loose yellow t shirt and black pants, turned on the AC, curled up in her bed, comforter carelessly strewn over her feet, nose hooked inside a book, eyes and mind engrossed in its contents. She was a 20 year old college goer, with small, brown eyes, a rather flat nose, a set of imperfect, yellowish, crooked teeth and with wavy, shoulder-length, black hair now tied in a characteristic bun, with a milky complexion. As she continued reading, a chill went down her spine. The chill had nothing to do with the atmosphere provided by the air conditioner nor with the gripping story of the book. A feeling of being watched, almost that of being quietly examined, suddenly made her feel vulne...

An Apology to My Inner Critic

Dear Inner Critic, It feels weird to call you dear when I've been antagonizing you my entire life; when in fact any motivational video that I've come across has only lectured me to ignore you and prove you wrong. I loved ignoring you because you just seem to pop out of nowhere to be my personalized buzz kill. I loved proving you wrong because it weirdly boosts my ego, for me to tell "I told you I was right" to a voice that always tells me this dialog (mini revenge). But you know what, Covid has hit the world and locked me up in self isolation and I fell into the world of personal development ( because why not? ). And I have made amazing progress to say the least but I seem to be having a major stumbling point when it comes to "compassion" - the art of having concern for the misfortune of others and being willing to look beyond their flaws - with people who I have felt hurt by ( obviously including you ). I mean, I can have compassion for people who...

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