Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Whenever you're reading this!
It's me, Maitreyi. Yeah I know, a long gap since my last post, but worth the wait!
I have so many exciting things to share with you all and I can't even wait to begin.
But first, the apology.
I, Maitreyi K, solemnly swear that I was up to all good during my rather large break, and I hope you can let me off the hook in case you were (and hopefully are) a consistent reader.
I apologize for being away and I'd like to make up for it by sharing juicy details about my life.
So, first things first, I have cleared the hardest core papers of my engineering exams! And I'm talking about concepts that were specifically created to juice the jam out of my poor brain. So that's an amazing win!
Next, I prepared with blood, sweat and tears to give a crack at one of the toughest entrance exams in my country to access fine quality higher education in the field of Management. I cleared it as well.
Then I attended interviews for 12 prestigious MBA institutions and got into one of them! That's right, I am officially getting into my dream management institute, and I am super proud of myself and super grateful for my family and support systems who helped me each step of the way, even when many a time, it meant that my priority was exam preparation.
*humble swag moment*
And the cherry (I rather prefer cream) on top is that I am now free.
This phase of unexpected calm and peace, knowing that I don't need to burn the midnight oil (and my batteries) for completing assignments, preparing for seminars, or gearing up for back-to-back interviews anymore, is....new.
It is very relaxing to let my mind wander as my feet take me anywhere they please, enjoying the simpler little joys of a samosa, a biscuit, and a Dahi puri.
And most importantly for me, it is the first time I could view my own growth as a person and a character, and just be, without any doing.
Then it struck me that I have a whole life ahead of me and whether I like it or not, I have undergone painful experiences quite early, which will make me set myself up for a successful future.
So I thought I'd share some of my opinions on the "Life After", the phase after education, where there is no longer a set, safe structure that can accommodate any number of skirmishes without long-lasting consequences.
Here are many of my thoughts on how we can gear up for our futures and tackle any number of hurdles that may come our way, either as a group of people behaving in a toxic manner or a situation threatening to take away your peace (Spoiler - nothing will harm you, you'll understand why at the end of this article).
1. Boundaries
I cannot stress this enough.
Boundaries may sound cliché and make you look like a "difficult person" and that's only because not many people will have the guts it takes to stand up for themselves and they tend to project their inefficiency onto you.
You might be labelled a "stubborn" person but eventually, the ones who do not understand your boundaries will learn to live with it.
The ones who understand your boundaries will happily accept it.
The ones who dislike your boundaries will go away from your life.
So it is a win-win either way.
Boundaries could be anything from "I don't like sugar in my coffee, please don't add it" to "I will not work myself beyond my capacity at the office".
Here the important point to be noted is that your boundaries are more likely to make sense to others if you commit to doing dedicated work and you cooperate with them at all times when your boundaries are not pushed.
For example, if you manage to complete your work during your allocated working hours at the office, you will most likely not be asked to work overtime. Even if a situation comes up where you are demanded to work extra, you can always show your track record and confidently say that you do not require extra hours beyond the office timings to complete the work.
Of course, circumstances may arise where you don't feel interested in your job or your career trajectory anymore, and here it takes courage to step back and reassess your standing, which leads me to my second point.
2. Check in with yourself
Consider your best friend comes to you and vents their frustrations about how their life is messed up, how they see no way out, and how much they hate doing whatever job or position they are in.
What would be your primary response?
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Why is this your first reaction?
Because you know you could have helped them out had you asked them at an earlier stage or if they had conveyed their feelings of frustration instead of letting it bottle up.
This is exactly why checking in with yourself is of utmost priority.
No matter wherever you go or whoever you are with, always try to ask yourself:
"Am I happy doing this?"
"Is there anything I could do to make this situation better?"
Yes, there are some points in life where you might have to do things you don't at all like in order to survive, and in such cases, pulling yourself out of the situation may not be the best solution. Putting yourself through the situation might be your only way out.
If God forbid, something like this happens to you, I want you to know that you will be okay in the end.
It will be rough but you will come out stronger.
What might help you get through such grizzly journeys, is a very simple habit, often overlooked.
The habit of a Hobby.
3. Have a hobby
We human beings do not like the feeling of being suppressed.
It is in our nature to expand, explore, create and enjoy.
Ideally, the life you set up for yourself should make you feel human.
But in situations where you are not being allowed to express yourself and no amount of boundaries or check-ins help you, a hobby definitely will.
A hobby could be absolutely anything under the sun and stars that makes you feel joy. Think about your childhood, where you had that space (however little or big) to explore and enjoy.
What did you love being and doing the most?
Was it play-acting as a doctor who checked on all the stuffed animals?
A cricketer who sent imaginary balls flying for boundaries?
A singer who didn't care about the quality of their voice and sang their heart out?
A chef who created ingenuine recipes that maybe only ants could eat?
The point I'm trying to make with the obviously ironic examples is this:
You don't need to achieve something with your hobby
Your hobby is all about you being in the present and allowing yourself to be nourished by some quality me-time.
The quirky thing about practicing hobbies is that you get solutions for situations at unexpected moments where you are deeply involved in doing what you love, even if it is just for 30 minutes.
If one situation does not allow you to express yourself freely, create another situation for you to enjoy. The toxic situation tends to dissolve and disappear (basic law of attraction) once you find your space of peace.
Speaking of peace comes my final point. The 5-5 rule.
4. If it won't matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it.
I mean to say that the energy you spend worrying beyond 5 minutes is a waste.
If you rather spend that energy trying to figure out a solution or just let go and let things unfold on their own, instead of trying to control the outcome of the situation, you will have a stress-free life.
For those 5 minutes, worry as much as you want. Think of all the fears you have, let them flow through your brain, and drown in those fears and thoughts as much as you want, but for 5 minutes.
The instant the timer is up, you have to stop your pity party, clean up and trust that nothing will harm you. Trust yourself that you won't allow anyone or anything to get beyond your boundaries. Trust yourself that you will be protected at all costs. And how do you trust that?
Well, I leave that up to you.
I learned how to trust myself and it is a journey that is personal to everyone.
So here it is, the little wisdom I have acquired over the past few years, which I wished to share with you, to help you in your life journey ahead.
I know my journey will be amazing, and I hope the same for you too.
Signing off as a more matured Parinaama,
Maitreyi K :)