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| Level 21 in Lockdown |
Hello my lovely readers! I took a pleasant break from blogging to focus a lot on my inner world and lets just say it was worth every bit of the hiatus.
I feel a lot more fresh, inspired, energized and enlightened and we at Parinaama are going to serve your mind, body and soul with the nuggets of wisdom we know you'll appreciate.
Cricket lovers will understand the title of today's post (I maayyyyy have been a tad bit influenced by my effervescent cricket mad editor) and for me personally, the number 21 is quite significant.
2+1 adds up to 3 (my absolute favourite number)
21 is the day of the month I was born
20 overs are all there is in T20 cricket BUT its the 21st over (the super over) that becomes the turning point of a nail biting match that ended in a tie.
And strangely, that's how I feel about my life so far.
The first 10 years - lost in oblivion. I barely developed proper social skills since I was labelled "shy" and I stuck to that label out of fear of the unknown. I felt lost. I was made to think that making everyone happy had to be my top priority. I grew into a meek, spineless, "nice" person. I lived in autopilot. I was never present in the moment to enjoy it. I had pitifully few friends and I lived with a constant fear of abandonment because deep down, even at that young age, I knew I wasn't being authentic because I didn't know myself.
The next 10 years? An absolute hell of a rollercoaster. I moved countries, cities, travelled to many places, experienced intense emotional trauma and never felt a sense of safety or home in myself, the 19th year being the worst (in retrospect, it gave me the lessons and wisdom I needed in the most gut wrenching manner). The 20th year felt like a standstill, with time itself deigning to stop, to give me the space to evaluate where I pathetically stood and the resources to heal and evolve at an exponential rate.
A healing and evolution which beautifully occurred.
The entire period between March 2020 till now, seems magical and miraculous to say the least. I set the intention to know myself, the good, bad, ugly and every little thing in between. I had a single minded goal to unbecome who I had thought I was "supposed" to be and become who I authentically am.
I set out on a journey to love myself - a thought I would laugh at previously because I used to hate myself bitterly and also since I had been conditioned to falsely believe that self love and self awareness were selfish and dangerous.
I met the most amazing, uplifting souls along the way. Some as friends, some as mirrors, some as gurus, some as guides, some as supporters. All of whom gave me something I had never felt to such an extent from the world - compassion & acceptance.
This compassion lovingly given, helped me let go of my past, embrace my present and trust my future. My heart goes out to those who suffered or felt suffering owing to the pandemic that overtook the world in the year 2020 but for me, I feel deep gratitude for the past year and a half. Solitude helped me strengthen and recuperate myself enough to not only support me but also the ones of my soul tribe.
And here I stand, in my 21st over.
Quite determined to make it the turning point *wink*.
Of course all of this will reflect in our blog, so stay tuned for newer faces and fresher formats!
Sending you prayers of growth
Maitreyi K
21 and Just Getting Started.