Surrendering to The Process (to Krishna) - A Choice

Happy March dear wanderer!

What a lovely month February has been and what an amazing start to this year! Its been such a surreal journey for me, with exponential evolution and healing, spiritually, mentally and physically and I believe it will continue to be so.

<touch wood>

The one thing I love more than anything in this Universe, is my trust, faith and surrender to the process (i.e) to Krishna ( I refer to Krishna as God, at times I refer to it as Kaali ma, at other times as the Universe, so feel free to refer to it however it resonates with you )

If there could be anything that surpasses this, it would be my soulful wish to see everyone enjoy the same level of peace, bliss, safety and unconditional warmth I feel every single moment right now.

My life post surrendering has been miraculous and magical to say the least and for me it seems a crime to not share this beautiful journey as succinctly as I can, with you, in the hope of inspiring you to gain faith in the Higher Power that guides us all (and nah.. this article isn't some sneaky brainwashing strategy - it's purely my journey)

Before I begin, I would like to state how I am more of a spiritual person than a religious person - I have utmost respect for my religion and for all religions but I follow my inner guidance a lot more than I follow prescribed dharmic texts and rules. 

I have found it much more simpler to start where I am with what I know and to develop my own sense of God Krishna as I move on in my journey than to feverishly read religious books to see what I "should" be doing - this felt to be the right path for me.

As always, you may follow a unique path of your own which I totally respect and I reiterate that this is purely my own personal journey.

Now that we are done with the much needed disclaimers, lets jump into the tea, shall we? (wink wink)

Beginning at the beginning, there came a time in February 2021 where I realized that though I did have utter faith in the Universe, my subconscious was still a little bit resistant to the idea of totally letting go of control and surrendering entirely to Krishna.

Since it had been put into sticky situations where nobody and nothing seemed to help it get out, my subconscious did not have entire faith in the process or in Krishna - it was highly skeptical.

And to be fair, it had years of conditioning and repeated bitter past experiences to show it that "the world was always going to be a selfish, bad, betraying place and its better to play victim, never trust anyone or anything than to be yourself and to be in danger" - quotes because this isn't true.

doesn't look questionable to me,
but I feel you little fellow!

Not gonna lie, I wasn't very happy when I came to know of this underlying fear in my mind and I did the first thing I could think of - I called up a fellow spiritual soul sibling.

I told him, "I want to surrender completely to Krishna but this is how my subconscious has been wired to think. How do I overcome this?"

God bless his soul, he did not judge me.

He patiently heard me out, heard me describing every bitter life event I had been through and affirmed to me that I wasn't a "bad" person for not trusting God completely - my situation had forced me to do so and I didn't know I had a choice to think or act differently

Once he ensured that I had calmed down, he told me once again that it wasn't my fault that I thought like this - he made me feel understood. (thanks bro!)

Then, knowing me all too well, he proceeded to share parts of his journey, the parts where he too had struggled in holding up faith in Krishna, and this time, I comforted him because I could relate so much with his journey. He then ventured forth and told me stories of characters from epics, the parts where they too had struggled in holding up faith in God. I related so much with these stories and I could clearly see that it wasn't their fault or sin that they had struggled with keeping up trust, and similarly, it wasn't ours too - external situations had made them feel so, and had made us feel so

Now, neither of us nor the characters in the epics were playing victim by saying that it was entirely because of external situations that we struggled to have faith - we were merely acknowledging the fact that we were unaware that we had a choice to think otherwise.

And here is where we both had a few thunder struck realizations.

1) The fear and apprehension to surrender completely stemmed from the fact that we had never experienced any situation where we felt safe enough or accepted enough to be completely utterly totally ourselves.

let that sink in....

(Basic human nature is to attempt to fit in with the tribe and so we were unconsciously hiding parts of ourselves to "fit in", which was why we were scared to surrender to a Force we could not see with the naked eye - what guarantee did we have that we would be safe, when we had enough evidence to show us that being ourselves is "not safe"?)

2) In the process of being the unconditionally, boundlessly kind beings we inherently were, we could not bear to see our loved ones suffer and hence we were shielding them from the consequences of their actions by unconsciously wishing it upon ourselves through prayers that went along the lines of "Please give them a good life, please don't make them suffer, please give their suffering to us, we will handle it for them" - meaning - we had not been trusting God Krishna enough to let Him do what was right to those who deserved it, for their long term benefit.

At this point, I cannot stress how guilty I felt about the dual wrong I had been committing out of fear and naïve kindness.

Fear that I would have to be vulnerably and utterly myself with God, 

Naïve kindness that I didn't want to see my loved ones suffer justly, as a result of their own actions.

And here, I had to make a choice.

The choice that those characters had previously made. 

The choice that my sibling was consistently choosing every single moment.

The choice to simply trust.

All this while, I was unconsciously laboring under the delusion that I had no choice in my life and that I had to always let life happen to me, with me being the hapless victim, when it was never meant to be that way!

But now, I had the choice to trust myself completely with Krishna.

I had the choice to surrender to the process, with trust.

I had the choice to stop fearing life, fearing for the safety of my loved ones and to let Him do His work with the utmost faith that it was for everyone's highest good.

Imagine a parent with their toddler kid.

Would a child learn to walk properly if it is shielded from falling on the ground by its parent? NO! (unless they are put up with a robot)

Does that mean the parent is careless to let their child get hurt? NO!

The parent knows this type of hurt is necessary for the growing child.

They know it was a harmless hurt that teaches the child a valuable lesson - walking.

And also, any evil force would have to face the parent before it attempts to harm the child - No parent would ever wish for harm to happen to their child and neither would they violently and intentionally physically, mentally or emotionally harm the kid to "teach them a lesson" - abuse is NOT parenting. 

Coming back to our article, do I mean to say I wished suffering for my loved ones by removing my shielding prayers from them? ABSOLUTELY NOT

By removing the shielding effect, I was merely choosing to let Him do His work peacefully, by trusting, knowing and believing that it is always for their good.

I had the choice to choose a detached life filled with miracles.

Here, I felt a bit hesitant (not proud of it).

All the times I had ever trusted and opened up my true self to anyone had only led to me feeling betrayed, hurt and dejected - how was this time going to be different?

I got the answer from my inner guidance, which said, "Because now, its YOUR choice, a choice you make without expectations".

I had no clue at that point as to what the outcome was going to feel like, but I did it anyway.

I surrendered

All my desires, all my thoughts, all my worries, all my life experiences, to Krishna.

I affirmed to myself, I am His instrument.

And I let go.

I won't say that my life drastically changed and that I was crowned Miss World or made the President of USA (neither of which I want)

But, miracles did happen in my life.

Miracles because, now, I had the confidence that I could face anyone and anything since I had God by my side, which helped me face my life with a knowing that nothing and nobody would or could hurt me anymore.

Was it this innate confidence that shifted my perception of my life?

Or did Krishna really change my life for me?

You choose.

But for now, all I can say is, Surrendering to Him has been by far and will be the best decision of my life.

Surrender to God and the Universe 

=

Surrender to the process

Surrendering to the process gives you immense self confidence and leaves you stress free since you know the outcome is beyond your control....leaving you free to direct your energy purely into your work.

You can do your work with the utmost purest intentions and it won't make a difference to you whether others see you or your work with the same perception or if your work is gonna give you a certain outcome.

You become a channel through which the Universe speaks and acts. 

Surrendering to the process helps you detach completely from everyone and everything.

In fact you become like Pluto - a celestial rock that just keeps spinning, doing its work, executing its duty, without giving a damn if others perceive it as a planet or not.

Gotta love that self confidence!

I hope this gives you faith that surrendering to the process & hence to God can never be a bad choice.

Love, Light and Power to you,

Maitreyi K

PS - Here is a bonus for making it to the end of this long article :)

My favorite depiction of Krishna

HOW CUTE IS HE!!!???