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BYOV- Be Your Own Valentine

Greetings wanderer!

I sure hope January 2021 has been a month of reflections, insights, celebrations and joy for you as it has been for me. I cannot believe the extent to which I have accelerated in my spiritual journey and I have my amazingly supportive and wonderfully open minded soul family to thank (shout out to y'all!) for being with me every step of the way.

Alright, before you switch tabs or exit this page entirely (I promise it contains exactly what the title says... bear with me as you always lovingly do), I dive deep into today's topic (which has a lot to do with the preamble of this article) and announce to your ever supportive eyes that this year on, I am my own valentine (by choice)!

Self Partnering is the new Single

What do I mean by that? 
I mean to say I have learnt to unconditionally accept and love the beautiful jumble of soul, spirit, mind, muscle and bones that forms me. I have promised to me that I'll nurture myself everyday and strive to transform all my shadows to light, all my fears to love and all my regrets to lessons and I have completely surrendered to the journey of life with no focus on the outcome.

Now cutting back to a few days before I reached this place of unparalleled bliss (something no movie or sitcom or romcom will ever dare to show and inspire you to reach it too or else how on earth will they run their business with the cliché, well paying, stereotypical cringe dramas?), I was at a place of confusion with my mind and my Awareness.

(Disclaimer - I call it God, Awareness, Source, Universe, Higher Self and you can call it however you like to relate with it)

My mind was whining about how difficult it was to live life, how unreal everyone's expectations were, how horrible it was to sit without being able to understand what was happening and on the whole being the victim it generally enjoys being.

My Awareness calmly observed this rather cringe-inducing victim-mode-activated thought process of the mind and said in a matter of fact manner, "Who is asking YOU to live anyway? Why are you so desperate to create meaning for everything? Why don't you just observe? "

And that, ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, was what catalyzed a deep change in how my mind perceived life.

My mind was worried about not living a good enough life that it was forgetting to actually live it

My mind was putting so much pressure on itself to "prove" it can live a good life that it forgot about the Higher Power above us that guides us every step of the way

My mind was running around trying to make sense of everything when there was no need to.

My mind was trying to "find" meaning and "find" a purpose for everything it did when all it needed to do was to enjoy the process - the meaning would be created in retrospect.

My mind was trying its absolute best to "understand" everything when all it needed to do was to observe.

My mind was basically afraid to appear "meaningless" when in reality, nothing has meaning apart from what we assign to it.

Take a mango.
Taken

The mango does not know (or care) that it is perceived to be one of the most sweetest, delicious, decadent, drool-worthy fruits. There are people who are crazy about mangoes and there are people who for some reason hate eating mangoes. And then people who don't know what mangoes are and don't care about it.

Does any of this affect the mango from doing its daily duty of feeding on sunlight, oxygen and water? Absolutely not!

Now you could say "but that's what a mango is supposed to do - it is supposed to grow with the help of its leaves that procure oxygen, skin that utilizes sunlight and heat and roots that procure water.... honestly how would it even care about what others say about it, it doesn't have a mind!"- clearly a no brainer.

Well if that's the case for a sixth sense lacking fruit, doesn't it apply to all of us?

I present to you the epitome of self love - the mango.

It does its duty for itself regularly, takes care of itself consistently, doesn't care about the opinions of others and doesn't do anything that might remotely harm it.

And by virtue of it focusing on the process alone with no need to understand the outcome, it lives a blissful life that is centered on the present moment.

Now obviously since we have evolved much further than a mango, we have a mind that constantly chatters

We cannot suppress it or demand it to shut up - it won't.

The only thing we can do, is to observe it, like you would observe a monkey in a wildlife documentary.

Sure the monkey will jump around, screech around, sometimes even come to attack the camera - but you will remain calm, knowing that it can't do anything to you

And when you feel it to be enough, you simply close the film and direct your focus elsewhere.

This simple mindset change, is what helped me become my own valentine.

By detaching me from my thoughts and hormonal impulses, by simply observing them and not reacting to them, by simply directing my focus on what is necessary, by focusing on my needs first, I become the place I feel safe, respected, comforted and loved in.

It isn't an easy process, it isn't an easy journey (or maybe that's just my perception), but lemme tell you, it is worth it.

So this valentines day, invest in yourself, indulge in yourself, reflect in yourself and enjoy being with yourself - because you are the home you will return to and be in every second of your life.


Make that home yours :)

Love, light and power to you!
Maitreyi.
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